Effects of Divorce on Children

http://divorceandthefamily.com/ - Are you worried about the effects of divorce in children? Does the impact of divorce should be one of your concerns? How do you handle the effects of divorce in children? http://divorceandthefamily.com/ Divorce affects children differently, depending on their gender, age and stage of development. Their world, their security and their stability seems to fall apart when their parents divorce. Reducing traumatic effects of divorce on children. Many children go through their parents' divorce with relatively few problems or permanent negative effects. However, for other children, the effects of divorce can be traumatic and long-lived. Changes in a child's living arrangements, time with parents, education and lifestyle can trigger the body's fight-or-flight response -- anger or fear. But when a child cannot adequately express or mentally process those emotions, the child may feel extremely powerless and "freeze." This reaction is the basis of traumatic stress. There have been many empirical studies focusing on the effects of divorce on children. Some of the common findings among all of these studies are detailed in this article. Why Children are Impacted by Divorce? Some fathers and mothers see divorce as "their" issue. "We just can't get along anymore" or "She has been unfaithful." In fact, the marital relationship has far reaching ramifications for children, extended families, friends and others. The following are some perspectives on the view of children in a divorcing family. Fear of Change. The children in a divorcing family know that nothing will ever be the same again, and their previously secure world is in a state of change. Many things will change, not just that mother or dad will not be around. They may lost contact with extended family on one side or the other. Their bedtime, mealtime and after school routines may change. It is a state of upheaval. Fear of Being Abandoned. When mom and dad are at odds and are either separated or considering separation, children have a realistic fear that if they lose one parent, they may lose the other. The concept of being alone in the world is a very frightening thing for a child. Losing Attachment. Children who have a natural attachment for their parents also fear losing other secure relationships-friends, pets, siblings, neighbors, and so on. Sometimes children are simply attached to their surroundings, and moving into new surroundings can cause an understandable negative reaction. Coping with Parental Tension. Even though many divorces follow years of tension between husband and wife, the tension level typically increases during and shortly after a divorce. And parents who try to turn their children against the other spouse create an absolutely impossible situation for that child. For obvious reasons, children see divorce as something very traumatic. They are often concerned with their own security, not always with their parent's happiness. Children will question: What if they both leave me? What is it that I did wrong? Did I cause the divorce? Now what's going to happen to me? Children react in different ways with the onset of divorce. Some will be extremely sad and show signs of depression and even sleeplessness. Anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned or rejected by one or even both parents. Some divorce situations may make the child feel lonely. This may be due to a long absence of one of the parents. No matter what the situation, the child will be affected in some way by a divorce. Some children may become psychologically scarred from the experience, and still other children may not be affected emotionally at all. Much depends on how well the parents are able to handle the situation.

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YouTube | May 6, 2008

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