The three most terrifying words known to man.

Oddly, the fast food is still the scarier.

You should see where he keeps Ken from the Sports Desk's head.

To beer! The cause of -- and solution too -- all of life's problems!"

You mean that wasn't Spears' actual voice on "Toxic?" All I know about the universe is wrong...

Almost as weird as a Zune.

Strangely, they trained just as hard as Olympians for something that would get them significantly less women.

Poor wall. At least it went down fighting.

Jacqueline Novak on breaking up, saving herself for marriage, and doggy style.

These are the Olympics they don't teach you about in school.