USA: A new documentary traces a unique path while following a trinogomous relationship between two men and a woman

"Three of Hearts", a new documentary to be released shortly, is trail-blazing a new path as it follows a marriage-a-trois, a trinogomous relationship between two gay men, who invite a woman into their relationship. The documentary chronicles the domestic adventures of a unique New York City family consisting of two men and one woman. Late in the 1980s, Dr. Steven Margolin, his life partner Sam Cagnina and their shared wife, Samantha Singh, set out to establish a new kind of family, one that would not be bound by conventional sexual or sociological rules. Singh, a Toronto expatriate struggling as an actress in New York City, whose parents were originally from India, is invited into Sam and Steven's relationship, at Sam's idea. Director of the film, Susan Kaplan met the trio when they had already been in the relationship for several years, and was fascinated by the trio. She decided to explore Sam, Samantha and Steven's unique union as they negotiate their living arrangements, have children and open wellness centers in New York. In an interview with Reuters TV, Kaplan explained why she wanted to make a documentary on the trio. She said, "I was just really fascinated by the idea of family, and what is family, and they were such a challenging family that I really wanted to go deeper and get to know the three of them and I felt that if we could share their story, that somehow their story and who they were as people, and the more intimate we could get, would resonate and have people question you know this whole notion of what is family." Looking back on the reason why he agreed to let a documentary film-maker into his life and relationship with Steven and Samantha, Cagnina said, "Now I realize looking back that part of me was in denial, part of me was in distortion. I think that I wanted to say, look - I could have anything I want, I could have what everyone else has. I can have a wife and kids and a great love and it was kind of like a nose-up to the establishment, to the quote, unquote "man". Like you can't tell me what a family can be, I'll determine what that is." When asked whether he ever pondered on how people perceived his relationship with Sam and Samantha, Steven said, "When you choose to be in an alternative type of relationship, as alternative as ours was, you don't necessarily, and to be open about it, you don't necessarily think about the negative aspects or how people may see you or treat you, and I tend to do the same thing about the film. Sometimes I think about the fact that the film could bring about people either judging or using it, or not getting the message that I'd intended but very rarely." The film also shows how Sam, Samantha and Steven have a baby together. And while Kaplan is aware of the Public interest in the intimate aspects of Steven, Sam and Samantha's relationship, she likes to believe that the film is as much about self-discovery as about an offbeat relationship. As to whether the presence of cameras over a eight-year-long period effected their relationship, Samantha thinks it didn't. She said, "I don't think it reflected, I don't think it effected, excuse me, the relationship. I think when you have cameras on, you definitely are behaving you know another way than perhaps the way you would be behaving. It wasn't as though the cameras were there 24/7 either. We knew the camera were coming and you know they were trying to capture something in our lives, some sort of event or something that was going on." Because of some conservatism, Singh's Indian parents were a bit concerned about the film and didn't agree to be a part of the documentary. However, at a screening in Canada, Singh said that they finally came around and loved the film. "Three of Hearts" releases on October 19th in New York, November 18th in Los Angeles and December 2nd in San Francisco.

ITN Source | October 20, 2005

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