Newsroom : Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
- 00:01:38
- YouTube
Newsroom : Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
YouTube | July 22, 2008
Watch The News Room Season 1
Episode 96
Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
aired: Thu, Aug 13, 2009
Newsroom : Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
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Episode 90
Conservatives: Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays/Marriage
aired: Tue, Jun 2, 2009
Rep. Iscoe warns gays will give penises to lesbians who will give them vaginas so that homosexuals can marry and continue their attack on the American family.
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Episode 89
Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
aired: Tue, May 26, 2009
Girlfriends' spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right now.
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Episode 87
Ambassador Stages UN Coup, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions
aired: Thu, Apr 30, 2009
Uganda's Ambassador is threatening to abolish the Committee on Conferences and author the draft calendar of conferences and meetings himself.
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Episode 85
Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
aired: Tue, Apr 14, 2009
From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
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Episode 84
New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In Face
aired: Tue, Apr 7, 2009
Play the free demo now at CloseRangeGame.com.
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Episode 82
Hollow Point Bullets Recalled That Fail To Explode Targets
aired: Wed, Mar 25, 2009
Steel Hawk Inc. is offering a full refund to customers who bought the non-flesh-shredding bullets.
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Episode 78
Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine Millions To Run Baby Pics
aired: Thu, Feb 26, 2009
Celebrity watchers attribute the exorbitant price to the incredibly low demand for any news about Jennifer Love Hewitt.
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Episode 77
Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry
aired: Thu, Feb 19, 2009
The U.S. is considering sanctions against the Eastern European nation if it does not reduce the number of unsolicited offers for Viagra and replica handbags it sends.
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Episode 74
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
aired: Thu, Feb 5, 2009
Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.
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Episode 71
Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gas
aired: Thu, Jan 8, 2009
Community members who didn't burn to death are struggling to accept the devastating loss of so much premium fuel.
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Episode 69
The Onion: Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias
aired: Tue, Dec 16, 2008
Critic claims The Weather Channel shamelessly overreports stories on hurricanes and weekend forecasts at the expense of other news.
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Episode 68
Aunts, Stepdads Fight For Hot Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
aired: Thu, Dec 11, 2008
Across the country, aunts and stepdads are braving crowds to get their hands on the perfect gift for the relatives they barely know.
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Episode 65
The Onion: Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Suit
aired: Tue, Nov 18, 2008
The pardon assures that Libby will not face any more repercussions for his role in the Valerie Plame scandal or be eaten on Thanksgiving.
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Episode 64
Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman
aired: Thu, Nov 13, 2008
At a press conference today, the AGU announced it will not even acknowledge Mike Greenman until he begins dressing better and loses some weight.
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Episode 62
The Onion: Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine
aired: Thu, Oct 30, 2008
Rescue crews have been working day and night to free the former first lady, who has been unable to extricate herself from the sand.
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Episode 61
The Onion: Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad
aired: Mon, Oct 13, 2008
In this installment of Beyond The Facts, a precocious 8-year-old girl participates in grown-up politics by spreading smears and lies.
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Episode 60
The Onion: Meteorologists Predict Worst Autumn Ever
aired: Tue, Oct 7, 2008
Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph.
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Episode 58
Economists Warn Anti-Bush Product Market Close To Collapse
aired: Thu, Sep 4, 2008
The sudden drop in demand for "Buck Fush" T-shirts and "Hail to the Chimp" posters could leave millions unemployed.
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Episode 57
Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To South
aired: Tue, Aug 19, 2008
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass beneath them instead.
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Episode 56
The Onion: Californians Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition
aired: Thu, Aug 14, 2008
Residents took part in rituals like picking through the charred remains of their homes and feigning shock that this could happen to them.
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Episode 55
The Onion: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever
aired: Tue, Aug 5, 2008
The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.
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Episode 54
Study: Alzheimer's Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer's
aired: Tue, Jul 22, 2008
Interviews with Alzheimer's patients indicated that an overwhelming majority are, in fact, perfectly fine.
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Episode 53
The Onion: Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
aired: Tue, Jul 15, 2008
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
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Episode 52
The Onion: Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years
aired: Thu, Jul 10, 2008
Pausing only to eat, the West Highland white terrier yips and yelps 24 hours a day, according to neighbors.
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Episode 51
The Onion: Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff In 11,680th Day
aired: Tue, Jul 1, 2008
The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.
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Episode 50
The Onion: Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013
aired: Mon, Jun 23, 2008
Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.
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Episode 48
The Onion: Most Children Not In Favor Of Child Healthcare
aired: Thu, Jun 12, 2008
A recent survey of children found that they are overwhelmingly opposed to increased doctor visits and vaccinations. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 47
The Onion: High School Tonys Honor Nation's Drama Club Nerds
aired: Tue, Jun 10, 2008
High school theater's brightest stars gathered last night to see who would take home the coveted award for Most Awkward Kiss. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 45
The Onion: Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Goat Brain
aired: Thu, May 29, 2008
After years of experiments and tens of millions of dollars, scientists have finally created a sheep that thinks and acts like a goat. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 42
The Onion: Horrific Crash A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana
aired: Thu, May 15, 2008
As the wreckage from today's tragic crash continues to smolder, one can't help but think of the accident that took the life of the People's Princess. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 40
The Onion: Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line
aired: Tue, May 6, 2008
The Onion News Network's Brian Scott reports on a popular new Gap clothing line hand-sewn by children overseas. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 39
The Onion: A Friend's Cancer, Good For Your Health?
aired: Wed, Apr 30, 2008
A new study finds that having sick friends may improve your physique. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 38
The Onion: Report - 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic
aired: Mon, Apr 28, 2008
Is that compliment real or not? A new report tells you how to know the difference. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 37
Tired Of Traffic? New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'
aired: Tue, Apr 22, 2008
The Department of Transportation reports gridlock can be eliminated by simply honking your car's horn. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 36
The Onion: 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night
aired: Thu, Apr 17, 2008
A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 35
The Onion: Time Releases List Of Least Influential Americans
aired: Wed, Apr 16, 2008
Time Magazine's eagerly anticipated annual list of the 299 million least influential Americans hits newsstands this week.More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 32
The Onion: Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times
aired: Tue, Apr 8, 2008
New security measures put in place to allay terror fears are threatening to drive suspicious package retailers out of business.More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 31
Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can't Remember
aired: Mon, Apr 7, 2008
In this Onion News Network special feature, our soldiers stationed abroad remind us there's still a war going on. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 30
The Onion: Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie
aired: Wed, Apr 2, 2008
Media speculation is rampant over what exciting action sequences and romantic subplots the hikers may be experiencing if they are still alive. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 29
The Onion: Christian Charity Helps To Feed Non-Gay Hungry
aired: Mon, Mar 31, 2008
A Colorado-based Christian charity is providing aid for any and all heterosexual Africans in need. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 28
The Onion: '9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda
aired: Wed, Mar 26, 2008
An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 27
The Onion: Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses
aired: Tue, Mar 25, 2008
271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 26
The Onion: China Celebrates Status As Number One Polluter
aired: Wed, Mar 19, 2008
China revels in a UN report that found it has the highest smog levels in the world, a sure sign of China's progress and prosperity. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 25
The Onion: Army Holds Annual Bring Your Daughter To War Day
aired: Wed, Mar 12, 2008
Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 24
The Onion: US Schools Trail World In Child Soldier Aptitude
aired: Fri, Mar 7, 2008
A shocking new study finds U.S. children lag far behind their international peers in subjects like rifle assembly and mine defusing. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 23
The Onion: Anonymous Hero Donates Hospital 200 Human Kidneys
aired: Thu, Mar 6, 2008
Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thank him. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 22
The Onion: Queen Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving
aired: Mon, Mar 3, 2008
As Queen Elizabeth II becomes the oldest reigning monarch in British history, we take a look at some of her most significant waving moments. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 20
The Onion: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys
aired: Wed, Feb 27, 2008
Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 19
The Onion: 'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'
aired: Wed, Feb 20, 2008
Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 18
The Onion: Device Prevents Nick Nolte From Driving
aired: Tue, Feb 19, 2008
The Department Of Transportation unveiled a new mandatory safety system designed to protect American drivers by keeping Nick Nolte off the road. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 17
The Onion: U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa
aired: Wed, Feb 13, 2008
The United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African country. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 16
The Onion: Online Dating Streamlines Rejection For Women
aired: Thu, Feb 7, 2008
Websites like Match.com allow sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks of the mouse. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 15
The Onion: Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Hits Passerby
aired: Tue, Feb 5, 2008
Tragedy was narrowly averted when a stray bullet bound for singer Beyonce thankfully struck and became lodged in a passerby.
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Episode 13
The Onion: Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Role
aired: Tue, Jan 22, 2008
UN officials confirmed that Hotel Rwanda star Don Cheadle funded the genocide in Darfur for the purpose of starring in a film about the tragedy. More coverage at: http://onion.com
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Episode 12
The Onion: Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
A group of country music's biggest stars have a message for terrorists: you can't hurt America by blowing up New York City. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 11
The Onion: Mean Automakers Dash Hope For Flying Cars
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Onion News Network anchor Brandon Armstrong argues passionately for the existence of flying cars. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 10
The Onion: Memorial Honors Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Officials in California dedicated the Folsom Dam Memorial, which will honor the nearby residents that will die when the faulty dam fails. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 8
The Onion: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 7
The Onion: Missing Girl Probably Raped
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Bloomington, IN police say they have absolutely no information about a missing college student. Alan Fisher investigates the possible rape. More coverage at: www.onion.com ... missing girl news the onion
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Episode 6
The Onion: Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 5
The Onion: World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Nothing can stop Carl Wainwright from doing what he loves best -- performing surgery on the human brain. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 3
The Onion: Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
A professional wrestling "fan" has written a shocking new book that claims wrestling fans are actually paid actors. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
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Episode 1
The Onion: Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot
aired: Thu, Jan 17, 2008
Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area. More coverage: http://onion.com
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Onion News Network: Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
The Onion: Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Are Americans Eating Too Much Salt?
Decoding the Genome, Genetic Predisposition to Disease, and Health Insurance
